God, it’s final. Google has release Google TiSP, the new FREE in-home wireless broadband service.
Google TiSP is a fully functional, end-to-end system that provides in-home wireless access by connecting your commode-based TiSP wireless router to one of thousands of TiSP Access Nodes via fiber-optic cable strung through your local municipal sewage lines.
From the TiSP press release:
The Toilet Internet Service Provider (TiSP) project is a self-installed, ad-supported online service that will be offered entirely free to any consumer with a WiFi-capable PC and a toilet connected to a local municipal sewage system.
“We’ve got that whole organizing-the-world’s-information thing more or less under control,” said Google Co-founder and President Larry Page, a longtime supporter of so-called “dark porcelain” research and development. “What’s interesting, though, is how many different modalities there are for actually getting that information to you – not to mention from you.”
For years, data carriers have confronted the “last hundred yards” problem for delivering data from local networks into individual homes. Now Google has successfully devised a “last hundred smelly yards” solution that takes advantage of preexisting plumbing and sewage systems and their related hydraulic data-transmission capabilities. “There’s actually a thriving little underground community that’s been studying this exact solution for a long time,” says Page. “And today our Toilet ISP team is pleased to be leading the way through the sewers, up out of your toilet and – splat – right onto your PC.”
What about the speeds ?
Download Speed: 8 Mbps
Upload Speed: 2 Mpbs
Download Speed: 16 Mbps
Upload Speed: 4 Mpbs
Price: $9.95 / month
Download Speed: 32 Mbps
Upload Speed: 8 Mpbs
Price: $24.95 / month
TiSP is available today in the U.S. and Canada. Google has formed an international consortium of utility companies, sewage system experts, toilet manufacturers, and plumbers to develop solutions to the many problems facing all “dark porcelain”-based data-delivery innovators.
There’s even a Google Groups discussion about TiSP.
And an Ahahahah joke from the above Google Groups discussions:
Uhm…. here in Australia, our toilet flushes in the opposite direction and so I can’t get the sinker to go down! Please help! I really need TiSP service!
Reply: It’s only available in America and Canada….duh. >.> Weird opposite toilet flushers…with your kangaroos…
PS: This was an April’s fools day joke.